Subtle Insanity
by Sharingan-Youkai
Summary: Satsuki Uchiha, the second miracle Prodigy of the Uchiha Clan. Another thing about our little Satsuki? She’s Uchiha Itachi’s identical twin sister! Rest inside, better you think!
1. Oh Crap, She's Back!

A//N Hehehehehehe! You're never gonna believe where I got this Idea. I ain't telling ya either so don't even ask… I have very wide vocabulary so yeah… on with the fic before I bore you to death.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! But I do own my OC! And, people will act OOC.

And yes people I know I do a lot of Twin things, but I like the plots I get with them. Ok, I will more then likely do more then one story where a character has a twin. This is just another one, the first hasn't been put up yet because it's a complete disaster at the moment, this one on the other hand…well.

She's a bit of a psycho…

Summary: Satsuki Uchiha, the second miracle Prodigy of the Uchiha Clan. Another thing about our little Satsuki? She's Uchiha Itachi's identical twin sister! Satsuki and Itachi are alike in many ways, but also different. While Itachi is calm and collected, Satsuki is humorous and sometimes even loud. But theres another side to her, a side effect from the seal that binds her to her brother. It's literally driving her insane…

And know one knows how to stop it…

- - -

Chapter one: Oh crap, she's back…

Sarutobi could not believe it…

It was a complete catastrophe! Never in his long life has he been so horrified and disbelieving! Nothing so, so horrid has ever presented itself before the oh mighty Sandaime Hokage! But alas, he had lost…

LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He stared down at the small glass chess pieces in annoyance. _"Stupid game, you've never failed me before! Why now of all times!" _Sarutobi's brow twitched as a feminine giggle bubbled into existence in the chair across from him.

"I warned you Sarutobi-sama. But a bets a bet, so hand over your dues." Sarutobi's eyes drifted up until he met a pair of ashen orbs staring at him mischievously. He sighed in defeat as he reached into his robes and pulled out his wallet, withdrawing any cash that was within it's confines, which just so happened to be at least $500 in cash. Why he carried that much in his wallet? Well he was the Hokage, he was aloud to, it wasn't like anyone was stupid enough to mug him. He reached over and handed the money over to the young woman in the chair across from him, who happened to be wearing one hell of a smirk.

After all, Uchiha's were famous for many things, unbeatable smirks being one of them…

And sadly enough, the women before him was a mistress of smirks and scary looks…

"Why did I agree to play against you again Satsuki?" The woman before him, now known as Satsuki merely fanned herself with the cash.

"Hey, a woman's gotta eat to you know, I've been un-employed for going on four years now." The last part was said with a little snort. "Looking like I do, do you really expect people to just throw a job at me? I ain't working as an ANBU again, and working at a checkout or sitting behind a desk…well…All I have to say to that is…things would go boom." Sarutobi nodded in agreement as the young woman shifted in her chair until her shapely legs were hung over the arm of the chair and her head was hanging over the opposite arm, leaving her long raven hair to dangle to the floor in a silken puddle.

She was wearing a pair of navy denim jeans and simple white tank top covered by a light blue denim jacket. Her knee length raven hair was tied in a high pony tail with the fringe cut shorter to frame her pale but beautiful face. The faint lines running long the bottom of her eyes hidden mostly by her hair as the front cascaded over her face for a dramatically bored look. Her ashen eyes staring at the ceiling as she continued to think. Then after another minute Sarutobi could almost see the light bulb 'ping' into existence above her head. She rolled off the couch and slammed her hands onto the table, startling Sarutobi to the point of falling off his chair.

"I got it! I'll be a Jounin instructor!" Sarutobi stared at the Itachi (clone) with a raised brow. Satsuki was a very powerful Shinobi; she was captain of her own ANBU team just like her twin, she was trained in virtually every form of Ninjustu, Taijutsu, Genjutsu and even Kenjutsu. Accompanied by her fully developed Sharingan and her own deadly choice in weapons well… he couldn't picture her as a teaching kind of person… she'd probably eat her students… she was, in all but one sense a fruit loop… especially when someone gave her sugar…

You wouldn't believe she was even remotely related to the Great Dream-Master Uchiha Itachi even if she was identical to the young man…

She was just…weird…

Though she was a very deadly warrior, one who would kill you without moving a muscle if you so much as looked at her wrong.

But she was loyal to Konoha, in some sense that is…

She was more of a wonderer, after her brother killed the clan she stayed behind mainly to look after Sasuke in his time of need. The poor boy was a mess after the massacre.

But Satsuki?

Know one new this… but she always new her twin would do it; they were after all bonded in more ways then one. Their father had placed a special seal on the twins at birth, in an attempt at creating the most powerful duo in all of the Konoha to further appraise the Uchiha Clan. The two seals are 'tattooed' on both Itachi and Satsuki's left shoulder blade. They always know when the other is near, or in pain, because when one is in pain, the other feels it as well.

If Satsuki dies, Itachi goes with her... and visa versa.

Call it a fail safe Fugaku used when he realised what could potentially happen. Unfortunately for him he wasn't counting on _both _children to betray the Clan and so, both survived.

Long story short, Satsuki would have done it if Itachi hadn't…

Sarutobi stared at the woman as she continued ranting about the possibilities. He couldn't help but smile a little at her antics; she was, bubbly in some sense. But she did have her moments of seriousness, rarely but when she did…you'd trulyknow she was Itachi's sister. If you lived to tell about it…

"-So yeah, if I become a Jounin instructor then I can help with the Chuunin exams, train Sasuke and even kick Kakashi's ass!-" It continued in this sense for some time. As for Kakashi…she wasn't overly fond of perverts. Because most of the time _she _was the one being perved _on _by either Kakashi or Jiraiya, or some other guy with a death wish…

She was…in all sense beautiful, even if she was the mirror image of Uchiha Itachi… she just seemed more feminine. And her large chest was another thing to go by, then there was her legs, then her 'hour-glass' figure. Most guys drooled over her, which was funny actually. Itachi had fan-girls, Sasuke has fan-girls, and she has fan-boys…men, what ever.

Though unlike her little brother her fans were too afraid to even talk to her. Being crazy only a fraction of the reason…

While Satsuki continued Sarutobi finished writing the report necessary for her to become an instructor. Her being none-the-wiser the whole while.

When Sarutobi cleared his throat Satsuki paused and looked at the old man. "Huh?" She asked as a piece of paper was tossed into her lap. She picked it up and read over its contents with practiced ease. She blinked slowly, then after a moment of thought, a grin spread across her face, promptly alerting Sarutobi to the oncoming contact as Satsuki lunged at him and hugged the life out of him. "Kick ass! Thanks old man!" and before he new it the doors were swinging by themselves and she was gone. He laughed silently as he pulled out his pipe and crystal ball thingy. He took a long drag from his pipe and activated the ball. The funny thing was, he assigned her a team, not her own but still a team. She wouldn't be able to get her own team until the Academy let out fresh graduates. But boy, was Kakashi gonna be surprised. Mainly because Satsuki hasn't been around for a while. She's been wondering around the Elemental Countries looking for work, she only got back today…

Though his main reasons for assigning her to Team 7 was to give her some experience dealing with Genin, and to try and get Sasuke to be less of an emo jerk.

And he just wanted to torment Kakashi…

But there was a surprise for Satsuki as well, that girl, no matter what, never read the fine print…

- - -

Satsuki ran along the rooftops of the shopping district, she needed to do some shopping. She had all but burnt all her belongings when she left four years ago, something about not wanting to miss anything. She still had her apartment; Sarutobi had volunteered to look after it in her absence. All she really needed was some clothes, supplies and some new weapons. Along the lines of weapons, she preferred close range, though long range was good to. She wasn't too fond of Katana's like Itachi, no she preferred, oddly enough a Zanbato. She liked to get close and personal when she lopped off someone's head. Which Itachi had admitted freaked him out, she was pretty much a female version of him, and wielding a Zanbato with a grin that belonged in a horror film only made it all the more freaky.

He had said she was one person he'd hate to run into in a dark ally…

Everyone agreed…

Satsuki jumped off the rooftop she was on and landed silently on the ground, right in the middle of a busy street. She weaved her way around random people and entered a clothing store. She emerged half an hour later with a few bags slung over her shoulder and a smirk plastered to her lips. "Next I need some new toys." She mumbled to herself as she found her way to her favourite weapons store. The owner of this store new exactly who she was, considering this is where she got all her weapons even when she was in the Academy. The old man was surprised at seeing her but welcomed her nonetheless. Another half an hour later she jumped from the entrance to the roof across the street. She grumbled under breath when she almost slipped and fell backwards due to the amount of weight on her shoulder. "Hn, I'm gonna have to make a pit stop before I fall through someone's kitchen ceiling…" She new it could happen, because it had before… she and Itachi had been sparring, on their own roof. She had fallen through the roof and landed in the kitchen butt first. While Itachi thought it was the funniest thing in the world Fugaku had been very, very unimpressed. The Bill had come from both twins pockets…

She quickly made her way out of the shopping district and sprinted back to her place, which was on the other side of the damn village next to the Hyuuga compound. It was a two story apartment with a balcony. And like many other Shinobi that was her font door, she never used the real door…she either used the window or her balcony, which was always open. Because no one was dumb enough to break into Satsuki Uchiha's place. When she made it inside she plonked he stuff on the sofa and leaned on her hip. She looked around the dark living room with a quirked brow. Sarutobi was supposed to look after the place, not just pay for it! Looks like she had a night of cleaning ahead of her, a woman's worst nightmare, or maybe she could snag Sasuke into doing it…nah, he'd never fall for it a second time…

She walked through the place, opening all curtains and windows to let some fresh air in. She removed sheets from her furniture and did a quick run around with the duster. She hated dust… she was a woman, she hated dirt! When she was somewhat satisfied with her handy work she organised her weapons and put her clothes away, not before grabbing a spare set and having a long hot shower. When she emerged drying her long hair she was clad in clothing less restricting to a Ninja. Which consisted of a lower thigh length crimson Kunoichi dress and standard black ninja sandals. Her left thigh adorned white bandages and a black kunai pouch. She tied her hair into a low tail not unlike her brothers.

She looked herself over in her mirror and smirked. Things were going to get very interesting now that she was home. She retied her Hitai-ate around her neck and winked at the mirror. She wondered back into the living room and eyed her pride and glory sitting along a large rack on a long table. Her own Zanbato she named Yukinata, the name had no real meaning, it just seemed to suit it. It had a black laced handle with crimson ties hanging off the tip and a long silver blade with a single white line running along the middle. The very tip curved up slightly to make way to the three black ringlets that were attached along the top. (Think of that weird sword from Jet Li's Fearless.) All in all a very beautiful weapon. She had taken many lives with that very weapon, and she would take hundreds more when the time came. That very Zanbato sitting so innocently on the table had helped put an end to the Uchiha clan, and the only ones who new this were herself…and her twin.

If Itachi hadn't opened his big mouth she'd be with him this very moment, but he had told her to stay behind and play the victim with Sasuke. She had hated him for that, but she learned his reason for doing so soon after. The group he joined were a dangerous lot, and he was only with them to stay out of prison or worse… the pay wasn't bad either apparently, but she never would get _why _he joined them anyway. Itachi was funny that way, he just did random things for no real reason, like kill the clan for instance! Satsuki had helped, she'd enjoyed it to, but she was still convinced he did it because he was bored… another reason not to bore the great Uchiha Itachi…

She rolled her eyes at his antics, typical male…

She turned on her heel and grabbed the papers Sarutobi had given her from the coffee table. She folded them and tucked them away in her, bra… with that she exited her apartment and closed the balcony door behind her; she would get other supplies later. Now she wanted to annoy Kakashi and Sasuke.

- - -

A//N Review please! I need your opinion! No flames though… please. I like this idea… it seems to give things a second nature in my opinion. Ok I have no idea what I'm saying so just move on… see ya in chapter 2!


	2. Delicate Minds

A//N Skipping this………………………………………………………………………

Do not own Naruto, do own Satsuki.

No Recap sorry…

- - -

Chapter 2: Delicate minds…

Kakashi flipped another page in his book and giggled. What a perv… he glanced at his students as they continued to run up the trees before them. He had showed them the tree climbing technique, now for them to learn it! It was fun watching them fall… especially Naruto… he always landed on his head! Sasuke just landed either on his feet or backside. Sakura had made it to the top a few times. And that random woman's been standing upside down on a branch laughing like a maniac for going on five minutes now…wait what? His eyes…eye went as wide as a diner plate as realisation struck. The first thing he did was let out a very 'manly' scream and fall backwards off his log, his book flying as he did so. This only fuelled the insane laughter of this evil creature…

Naruto and Sakura looked at each other with raised brows when their Sensei suddenly screamed like a woman and fell backwards, pointing at something as he did. They turned their gaze to the source of the freaky laughter only to blink as a woman wearing a red dress with long black hair stood upside down on a branch bending over while holding her sides, laughing like some maniac. Then something else funny happened, Sasuke noticed the woman and lost his focus on his footing, promptly causing him to fall off the tree he was on and face plant the ground.

Satsuki continued laughing even when her sides were ready to burst. Never in all her life had she heard a man scream at the sight of her. Sure, Itachi would jump ever slightly but never screamed! Then her little brother just fell out of the tree like some rock and promptly increased her laughter. A few seconds later she herself fell out of the tree…

Though unlike Sasuke she landed on her feet, just. When she regained her composer somewhat her eyes were watering and her face was as red as her dress. She wandered over to the log Kakashi had now ducked behind and poked her head over.

"Yo." She said with a wave at the sweating man. Kakashi just laughed nervously, then when he noticed his students staring at him he cleared his throat and stood.

"Ah, Satsuki, nice to see you back." He said as he picked up his book. "Why are you back?" Satsuki rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, long story short, I missed tormenting you and my little brother." Kakashi just dropped his head slightly.

"Damn…" Satsuki just grinned as she pulled out the papers, noticing Kakashi eye where they had come from…

"And, I'm also apart of this team, according to Sarutobi. I'm to help you 'tutor' these guys, something about teaching me stuff about training Genin so when I get my own team; I'll be able to train them without killing them." She said as she jerked her thumb in their general direction. Kakashi just stared wide eyed at the papers before him. Reading then rereading them. When he finally got the message he just handed the papers back, and sat back on his log with his book.

"Well in that case; you are to start by helping Naruto and Sasuke master this technique, and after that I'll think of something else to keep you busy." Satsuki blinked several times with a brow raised.

"To start? What are you gonna have me do after, teach them Poker? I don't think so." Kakashi eye smiled somewhat evilly when he snatched the papers back (from within her bra) and pointed at 'the fine print'.

"Sarutobi wrote these papers himself by the looks of it. And it says right here: Satsuki is to not only help and learn in the tutelage of students, but to also follow the Teams leading Jounin's orders. Ok, ok now get to it girly before I make you run 200 laps around the village Miato Gai style." Satsuki's ashen eyes were as wide as diner plates. How could Sarutobi do this to her! He was supposed to be her friend not her executioner! Satsuki just slumped when it hit her.

"Oh I get it, payback for cashing in on a bet. Dirty old man, can't even take a hit." Kakashi just waved her off while he read his book.

"Come on now we don't have all day." Satsuki's brow twitched in sink with her fist. Oh, she new he was enjoying this, she new it. Then to everyone but Kakashi's confusion Satsuki turned her attention to some random directing in the sky and shouted at the top of her lungs.

"I know your watching this old man! Laugh it up while you can! Because Satsuki Uchiha always, and I repeat ALWAYS gets even!"

-With old man-

Sarutobi was currently on his floor laughing his ass off, the crystal ball showing Satsuki's shouted form. Her words sounding somewhat far away. Though his laughter abruptly stopped when he heard the always gets even part. When it all came down to it, Sarutobi had just screwed himself ten times over…

And he now new it…

- - -

Soon enough Satsuki calmed down and was about to get to work on the two boys when Sakura suddenly jumped in front of her looking rather confused.

"Uchiha? But I thought Sasuke was the only one left of the Uchiha clan…" Satsuki looked at the pink haired girl with a raised brow, then just snorted as she watched Sasuke continue his tree climbing.

"In a way, he is the only one…" Sakura blinked in confusion.

"What the heck is that supposed to mean? You're an Uchiha right, you look like Sasuke." This seemed to be the funniest thing in the world for Satsuki as she suddenly burst into another fit of hysterical laughter, earning another look of confusion from the younger Kunoichi.

"Me, look like Sasuke? HA! I'd tell you who I really look like, but I might get the evil eye from Sasuke and besides that…" Satsuki folded her arms and leaned down to eye Sakura with a wide grin. "It's illegal for me to even say his name." with that Satsuki turned and walked back over to her younger brother and his obvious rival.

Sakura's eyes were wide at hearing that, how could saying someone's name be illegal? She stared at Satsuki for a moment, then looked to her sensei, who seemed to be staring at Satsuki with both a worried and troubled glare, this only added to Sakura's curiosity. There was something about Satsuki that set Kakashi on edge, and if that was actually possible, then this woman was more then she appeared…

- - -

"So, this is where the Kyuubi brats been hidden eh?"

"So it seems…"

"Should we move in?"

"Yes."

- - -

"You know you shouldn't eat so much Ramen Naruto, it's bad for your system…" Said Satsuki as she watched Naruto waft down yet another bowl of Beef Ramen, her own Miso Ramen not even half eaten. Kakashi just laughed lightly.

"You're wasting your breath; he'll eat Ramen like theres no tomorrow. Even if someone else is paying for it…" Grumbled the Copy Cat Nin as he checked his near empty wallet. Satsuki blinked a few times as she watched Naruto, then just shrugged and turned back to her own food. The next hour was spent talking and eating at the Ramen stall. Eating mainly for Naruto while talking was limited to Satsuki and Sakura. Sasuke was too busy brooding while Kakashi was busy reading his perverted book. (Satsuki had given it back to him for his good behaviour.)

"-So basically you're the brains of the group, while Naruto and Sasuke are the brawn?" Sakura nodded.

"You could put it that way; Sasuke's very smart when it comes to strategy and strong in combat situations. Naruto's pretty strong and I'm…well not really good at much." Satsuki blinked.

"What do you mean, surely theres something you excel at?" Sakura slumped.

"I can work a descent Genjutsu when I have to, I can also pick out traps and such, but when it comes to fighting…I'm useless." Satsuki stared at the pink haired Genin.

"You know…You're only useless because you keep telling yourself you are. If you believe otherwise then, you'll surly prove yourself wrong, think of it as a lesson." Sakura stared at Satsuki for a minute, then just sighed.

"I don't know, I don't think that applies for me." Satsuki smiled slightly.

"You know, I new someone a while back who thought his own happiness wasn't worth anything…much like how you think you're not worth anything to a team. He used to say, a Shinobi does not need to be happy, that he didn't need to show feelings that didn't exist…" Sakura blinked.

"Did he learn his lesson?" Satsuki laughed.

"No he didn't, but he felt it in the morning after I beat some kind of sense into his thick head." Sakura laughed along with Satsuki, who suddenly jabbed her forehead with her chopsticks. "So stop mopping around or I'll give you the same treatment as he got." Sakura gulped, but nodded. "Your not as useless as you think you are. You just need to try harder and apply all your efforts to what you _know _you're capable of. Then before you know it, you're the next Hokage!" Sakura burst into laughter as Naruto suddenly chocked on his Ramen. Satsuki just smirked and leaned back with her arms behind her neck. _"I never thought I'd be the type to hand out good advice eh…" _Satsuki continued to smirk as she leaned her head back and eyed the sky from her stool, thank god her balance was in tact today or she would have wound up on the ground…

She continued to stare at the cloudy sky, taking note of the possible rain. She turned to look down the street and watched a group of kid's play Ninja while their parents watched over them, what a way to play, right where your parents can see you…amateurs. She took one last look at the kids and turned to face the opposite street. She froze…

She didn't see any kids or parents, no what she saw was far more unexpected. A glimmer of crimson on black disappearing around a corner.

"Suki? Yo Satsuki! What's wrong?" Satsuki blinked as she turned to see Naruto looking down at her from his stool. She twitched when she noticed she was on the ground… damn gravity!

"Nothing's wrong…I just remembered I have a few things to sort out in my apartment. Sarutobi was supposed to look after it for me but…well, sorry I gotta go, see you later!" with that Satsuki jumped to her feet and paid for her own Ramen, then sped off down the street and around a corner.

- - -

"_Dammit I lost them…something's not right, what would Akatsuki want here?" _Satsuki leaned on a nearby wall and folded her arms. She had been silently following the two Akatsuki for going on twenty minutes; they had just vanished off the face of the Earth! She had lost sight of them for not even three seconds when they turned another corner. _"Ok…Akatsuki in Leaf Village, that obviously spells trouble, why would they be here of all places? What could they gain? Hn, this day just keeps getting more and more complicated." _Satsuki blinked suddenly when an odd sensation ran down her spine, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Her arms dropped from her chest and tapped her thighs. _"What in hell is going on?" _with that she clicked her tongue and pushed off the wall, but before she could even take a step Sasuke suddenly shot past her almost knocking her off her feet.

"Hey!" she watched as Sasuke bounded onto a roof and continued on his way. She frowned. _"He sure seems to be in a hurry…" _she shook her head and sped on down the road after Sasuke.

- - -

Satsuki blinked when she saw Sasuke all but bolt into a Motel. "What in the…" she said as she continued after him. She jogged silently down a hallway and was about to turn a corner when Sasuke suddenly flew out of nowhere and collided with the wall in front of her. She stumbled back and remained out of sight as Sasuke stood and charged at something out of her sight, not even taking notice of her standing there. She blinked when he again collided with the wall in front of her; she would have laughed and teased him for it if a voice didn't silenced her.

"You're annoying."

Not _a_ voice…_His _voice.

She remained dead silent as she hid her Chakra and pressed herself against the wall. She watched as Sasuke again failed to acknowledge her and stand with his Sharingan activated. She watched as he performed several hand seals and forced Chakra into his hand. She blinked as the sound of birds fluttered into existence and blue Chakra engulfed Sasuke's hand. _"Chidori?" _she thought in astonishment. Who in their right mind would teach Sasuke Chidori! _"Kakashi!" _she snapped as she watched him charge at the man down the hall. _"You idiot Sasuke! That won't work and you know it!" _Just as she thought this a loud explosion sounded, soon followed by a sickening snap and pained cry. She growled under breath. _"I see he hasn't changed…" _she looked from either side of the hall and clenched her fist. She had to do something…

Then an idea came to mind. She turned and dashed down the opposite hall and turned down another just in time as Sasuke collided with the same wall again, only this time he wasn't alone.

She rounded one last corner and found herself standing behind a tall blue skinned man with a large Samehada. She smirked when she realised he wasn't aware of her presence, neither was anyone else for that matter. She noticed Naruto growling as the blue man held firmly on his shoulder. She returned her gaze to the opposite wall, her eyes narrowed. She watched as Sasuke suddenly started screaming, this caused her own Sharingan to flicker into existence. _"Why do you torment him so brother…" _Soon enough Sasuke's screams dimmed to nothing but whimpers as he passed into unconsciousness. That's when she finally had enough. She waited a few moment's as the blue skinned man, Kisame Hoshigaki if she remembered correctly from her ANBU days laugh.

"No mercy eh Itachi." Satsuki watched as Itachi dropped Sasuke's limp form. She smirked, that was her cue. Without a second thought Satsuki jumped and round house kicked Kisame's head into the wall beside them, the force of the blow sending his head through it. She hadn't even touched the ground when she let her second attack fly, a kunai in Itachi's direction. She landed with grace possessed by no normal human and faced her brother as he simply tilted his head to avoid the projectile. She kept her face devoid of any emotion, her crimson Sharingan glaring daggers.

"Did you have to traumatize him a second time?" this was said with a hint of anger on Satsuki's behalf. Sure, she absolutely loved her twin, but did he have to be such a monster? Itachi remained silent however, though he did shrug ever slightly.

"He got in my way…" Satsuki just rolled her eyes.

"That's no excuse to use Tsukiyome, remember it takes its toll on you as well." Itachi raised a brow at that.

"Whose side are you on exactly? Last I checked enemies didn't care about each others welfare." Satsuki just shrugged just as he had done. Though before anything else could be said Satsuki suddenly ducked under a huge blue fist. She laughed as she rolled backwards and between Kisame's legs and kicked him behind both knees, causing him to fall to all fours. Satsuki jumped up and placed a foot between his shoulders and held a kunai under his chin before he could even blink.

"You'll have to do better then that Fishstick." Satsuki smirked when he simply growled. "That's what I thought. Now, answer me this Itachi." She said as she raised her gaze back to her brother. "What are you doing here?" Itachi remained silent, much to her annoyance, though she wasn't surprised. "Ok, don't answer, I've figured it out anyway." She turned her gaze to Naruto, who was staring between the two with his mouth hanging open and his eyes as wide as diner plates. She blinked. "What?" Naruto just pointed at her, then to Itachi with his mouth still hanging open. She twitched. "Oh that…" she looked at Itachi, who was smirking. "Hmm, long story, I'll tell you on a later date…" Naruto just continued to stare. This annoyed her slightly, then Kisame decided whatever the kid was so freaked out about was worth checking himself and turned his head slightly to look at Satsuki. Before the Konoichi new it her foot rest slash hostage fell flat on his face, causing her to loose her balance and fall back on her butt. She watched as Kisame jumped to his feet and mimicked Naruto with the wide mouthed staring session. She whipped her forehead and ran and hand down her face. "So nice to know you talk about me brother." Itachi just shrugged again. (Even if it was almost impossible to see)

"No one asked." Kisame just stared at Itachi while pointing at Satsuki.

"Please tell me it's a Genjutsu…" Satsuki just burst into more laughter, it sounding more clinically insane then anything. Soon enough she mock whipped a tear and sighed.

"Oh he wishes. Hmm, I'm no Illusion I'm much more then that." Kisame just blinked as he took in every detail presented. She was a mirror image of Itachi, aside from the obvious gender difference… though her hair was a lot longer, her face had a more feminine touch to it and her body, he wouldn't go into details for fear of bodily damage from either Uchiha should they catch his train of thought.

"She's my sister." Was all Itachi said to elaborate, thinking Kisame was smart enough to put two and two together. Obviously he wasn't. Satsuki just smirked.

"_Twin _sister for the slow and dumb." Kisame blinked, he had not expected to learn this, so forgive him if he was a little slow. "And rearing back to the matter at hand. Naruto get behind me before I change my mind and walk the other way." The blond just blinked and looked at Satsuki. She could tell the boy was struggling with his thoughts of wether to trust her or not. She didn't blame him though… " Naruto, it's either me, or them so choose quickly I'm not known for my patience when it comes to hostage situations."

"That's an understatement." Satsuki raised a brow in annoyance and glanced at Itachi.

"Must you always put in your to cents? Shut it." Itachi just smirked as he slipped a hand into his cloak. Satsuki snorted and slid into a battle stance. "Bring it bro." that was all the incentive Itachi needed as he lunged forward towards the grinning woman, who much to his annoyance, just giggled giddily.

Satsuki had to admit, Itachi was _way _faster then she remembered, but then again he was older and had more then likely trained every day since the massacre. She giggled again as she ducked under Itachi's foot and sidestepped his fist as it flew towards her stomach. Satsuki would have down right laughed at Itachi for using only Taijutsu on her, but then something came to mind.

"_Damn bastard, he's playing with me!" _She dodged another high kick and dropped to the ground, sending out a sweep kick which, just as she predicted was evaded. Before she could get back to her feet a fist slammed into the ground where she had been just milliseconds ago. She rolled back and struck out with her foot, which surprisingly hit it's target square in the jaw sending it flying back and into the wall next to an unconscious Sasuke. She rolled back and jumped to her feet with a smirk in place, but that smirk faded when her downed opponent burst into a cloud of smoke. _"Dammit! Shadow Clone!" _just as she thought this something solid connected with her lower back, knocking the wind from her lungs and sent her stumbling forward. Satsuki regained her step and span on her heel just in time to intercept a foot to the face, which she easily blocked with her left forearm. Using the momentum from the blow she lifted her right hand and gripped Itachi's ankle and span with the power of kick, sending the Uchiha through a wall several yards away. She giggled as she dusted her hands together. "Your gonna feel that in the morning." Her little victory was short lived however as the temperature in the room suddenly went up. Satsuki gasped when a flaming dragon suddenly burst through the wall and engulfed her and the room behind her in a strong blast of white hot flames that sent Kisame and Naruto flying in the opposite direction.

When the smoke in the hall finally cleared Itachi emerged from the wall he had been thrown through and admired his handy work. He scanned the area with his Sharingan in search of his twin, knowing full well that his attack had been wasted on someone as sneaky as Satsuki. His suspicions were confirmed when the sound of a woman coughing reached his ears. He sighed silently when Satsuki simply 'strolled' out of another room while waving a hand in front of her face to clear the smoke.

"Looks like things are really heating up now eh Itachi." The Akatsuki member rolled his eyes at his sisters idiotic joke.

"You and I both know this fight is pointless so-"

"So why don't you be a good little emo and pack your fish and go." Itachi's brow twitched ever so faintly at the emo remark. He even caught the faint curse from another room as Kisame finally came around.

"That mouth of yours really isn't becoming of a woman." Satsuki, who was currently cleaning out her ear with her finger blinked and looked at her brother.

"Huh? Did you say something brother?" Itachi's eye twitched quite violently as he felt the sudden urge to wear green spandex and spout crap about the glory of youth (MY EYES!!!) Satsuki just snickered and gave him a knowing look. "But seriously now, you should leave before someone like Gai shows up." Itachi just sighed deeply as he eyed his sister.

"I'm not going anywhere without Uzumaki." Satsuki glanced at the blond, then shrugged.

"Then your gonna be stuck here for-GAH!! WHAT THE!" Satsuki was abruptly cut off when strong arms suddenly hoisted her over someone's shoulder, she was about to kick this persons ass until she got a face full of white hair and heard the tell tail 'aha!' of the one person she'd rather die then be stuck with struck a stupid pose with her slung over his shoulder.

"Fear not fare madden for the great Jiraiya has come to save thee! And kick some Missing nin butt!" Satsuki had to resist the overpowering urge to unleash her most powerful Katon Jutsu on this guys annoying ass when everything clicked.

"DAMMIT JIRAIYA PUT ME DOWN!" Her shriek was met with a thunderous laugh as Kisame rejoined his partner at the other end of the hall.

"Master Jiraiya, what a surprise." Satsuki couldn't see what the hell was going on as her face was currently submerged in a white mop, but could tell by the tone of Kisame's voice that she had just been mocked.

"Dammit you stupid toad lover put me down before cut off something important!" again, she was ignored. A few moment's later Jiraiya performed some kind of Jutsu, did a few tricks and turned the hallway into a damn frog's mouth. She was currently resting her elbow on the older mans back with her chin held in her hand as she tapped the large scroll in front of her. The stupid hermit hadn't loosened his firm hold on her yet, so she couldn't get free without seriously hurting him…but on the other hand…she was getting close to slicing the guys testicles off…

"Dammit Itachi save your sister!" unfortunately all she got from the older Uchiha was a sarcastic apology and then something went boom. Before she new it she was being carried to the other side of the hall, she couldn't see anything…no shock there but she caught the smell of something burning and judging by the amount of Chakra her brother used it could only have meant one thing. "YOU IDIOT ITACHI! AMARATSU ISN'T A TOY!" Indeed, it wasn't…

And so, she just realised Itachi and his fish sticked partner were gone, and she was stuck with this stupid- she was interrupted by a weird giggle from the man holding her, then something squeezed her backside. _"OH HE DID NOT JUST-!" _"HENTAI!!!"

- - -

A few moments later the scene was greeted by none other then Maito Gai, who upon entering the hall -via the huge hole in the wall- stopped and did a retake. He couldn't help but sweat slightly at the sight of the Toad Sennin, who unfortunately for him was on the ground tied up like a pretzel with a very pissed Uchiha woman glaring Sharingan daggers at him while waving a Kunai suggestively, her intentions were clear from the mortified look on the white haired mans face.

- - -

A//N Boo hoo for you end of Chapter 2…If you want more then REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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